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sad bastard songs.

by Jeff Linden

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1.
hey, darling i've been sleeping alone / i've been living in my telephone and i've / gone a week without saying something true / sometimes i wanna say i miss you so / though i only held you for a couple days, i know / without you i'm a deeper shade of blue so i sing myself another sad bastard song / how even on the good days everything feels wrong / i could try to turn it around / but i know i'd fall back down / and i've gotten used to lying on the ground hey, darling my head, it aches / the movie's almost over, just a couple more takes, and then / i'll just be a name in the credits / even if i get the things i want / a gang to follow and a soul to haunt, i know / it won't feel the way i intended so i sing myself another sad bastard song / how even on the good days everything feels wrong / i could try to turn it around / but i know i'd fall back down / and i've gotten used to lying on the ground and everybody knows / it hurts the most when good and sober / i'll make my way back home / but when i get there, the story's over / i guess i'd rather be lost than feel a sinking sense of boredom when i am found so i sing myself another sad bastard song / how even on the good days everything feels wrong / i could try to turn it around / but i know i'd fall back down / and i've gotten used to lying / i've gotten used to lying on the ground
2.
i can pick you flowers / and conjure up stories of the moon / i could buy you a ring and teach you all the songs i sing / but all them songs still wouldn't be for you / i could learn my lines / beat all the other actors gunning for the part / but however long i took to finally get off book / i'd always be a few feet off my mark i still can't change the world for you, simone / i am just a fool who's got his eyes upon your throne / and you are probably better off alone i could hoist the sails / and brave the darkest creatures of the deep / i could memorize the charts to navigate your heart / but there'd always be some place i'd rather be / i could stack the deck / and deal you every ace, and king and queen / but when the next hand comes around, your luck just might run out / and i can't promise it'll be a pretty scene i still can't change the world for you, simone / i am just a fool who's got his eyes upon your throne / and you are probably better off alone
3.
i dream about that californian sun / while watching all the cars roll by out on route 1 / while my boss just grins and says, "you know, there's much work to be done" / while i dream about that californian sun / you're the only girl i know that's worth the wait / while my friends all gather round and try to set me straight / but it takes all i have in me not to jump on the interstate / cause you're the only girl i know that's worth the wait if the earth still shakes / and the storm won't break / and your heart feels like a canyon / i'll try to give it every ounce that it takes / even though i ain't a man yet sometimes i think i'll catch a flight next sunday / before i stop to wonder where i'll get that kind of money / but there's nothing more american than a dream that just ain't coming / so i still think i'll catch a flight next sunday you told me that you feel all alone / i tell you that i feel the same through my dead, cracked phone / so is it worse to feel that way when you're three thousand miles from home / or to be right there and still feel all alone if the earth still shakes / and the storm won't break / and your heart feels like a canyon / i'll try to give it every ounce that it takes / even though i ain't a man yet my friend said if it's really meant to be / it'll happen when the time is right, that's destiny / but what if the time is never right and life slides by so carelessly / and you're just the one that got away from me i guess that i would rather try and fail / than wonder about our ship that never quite set sail / so put that white flag away, and don't you run and turn your tail / cause for you, girl, i'd rather try and fail if the earth still shakes / and the storm won't break / and your heart feels like a canyon / i'll try to give it every ounce that it takes / even though i ain't a man yet i'll try to give it every ounce that it takes / even though i ain't a man yet
4.
a new place. 04:05
i made a nest of the things that i loved as a child / to protect me from the things i love now / i can't make it through a day without forcing a smile / and questioning the few things i've found / that make me happy that i'm still alive / like staying up singing songs till sunrise / it ain't easy to war with the ghosts on your mind / cause it would be so goddamn easy to die so goddamn easy to die kelly says i am a good-hearted man / one any girl would be lucky to have / a wife and a baby was always my plan / in the suburbs, with a blue minivan / but when i see all the things that folks give up on / just to pass on a bit of their genes / i think i'm better off trying to write these damn songs / while somewhere chuck darwin is laughing at me chuck darwin is laughing at me so i take a deep breath / and i count to ten / and when i open my eyes, i'll be a better friend / to those who care about me / even when i think they shouldn't / and i'll learn to be different / even though i know i couldn't / and if i can / well, i don't know how i gotta know if there's a new place that i'd rather be / or if they're all the same / i gotta know if there's a lone drop of hope left for me / or if not one remains
5.
back in the grass, and i open my eyes / i've been looking for god in the summer skies / i left my friends and the party behind / to wander down a neighborhood that isn't mine and i'm just trying / to ease my mind / for a while i can barely recall what led me here / it was a feeling that i got in the past few years / when i'm in a crowd i get this kind of fear / i question if they all would notice if i disappear so i take a walk / just down this block / for a while / and i have a talk / with the dirt and rocks / for a while and i see it all so clearly / that i'm nothing like i planned / by the time i got to my age / i was supposed to be a man / and i see that i'm still hiding / from pretty girls and holding hands / terrified that one false move / and they'll never talk to me again my back in the grass, and i open my eyes / i've been looking for god in the summer skies / i left my friends and my family behind / to live a new life that isn't mine

credits

released July 22, 2017

all songs written, produced, and performed by jeff linden.

rebecca emont sang on track one.
tommy allen talks at the end of track four.
matt padron's feet are on the cover.
rhonette smith took the picture.

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Jeff Linden New Jersey

Gang Vocals, Cowboy Chords, and Songs about the Sea

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